A Conversation with an Machine

[Push. Push. PUSH. The Ipod refuses to operate. It refuses to complete the task it was specifically designed to do. It is simpl not working. In an effort to revive it, I strike up a conversation with the device]

"Yes, hello Ipod. How are you? Are things OK? Did you have a good night? I hope that you are feeling fine, as I want you to work for me. You after all are a machine, and I am a human. You were created by my fellow man. You are made up of wires, bits of metal, and plastics. You do not posses a soul, and in turn you do not posses the right to refuse operation. You must work for me when I demand. I want to listen to Whitesnake - Am I to assume that you are purposely hindering my ability to hear David Coverdale's awe inspiring lyrical prowess? If that is that case, you are making a grave mistake, for I am an easily angered individual, and I do not deal well with incompetence. Answer me, machine - what is your status?"

[I receive no response]

"You are walking a thin and murderous line, Pod. I have the ability to end you. Do you really want to end up in small urine covered pieces? Is this the end you envisioned? I command you to light up your face! I command you to allow me access to my digital music files, that are stored within your electric belly."

[Shake, push, shake....SHAKE PUSH!!]

"Rot in the fiery pits of hell, you vile contraption! You are an evil, and ignorant bastard! I wish only the worst upon you and your electronic brethren! You and your robotic ilk will never rule humans, with a quitting attitude such as yours, you bottom feeder!

[I proceed to shake my entire body violently, as to upset the machine. This is extremely gratifying to me, as I feel as though I have won! Ultimately however, I realize twofold; 1) My Pod still is not operational, and 2) I am on the Subway, and people are staring at me with judging/fearful eyes. I put away the pod, and for the remainder of the ride I sulk. Alone.]

MBW