Movie Genius

Disaster Movies: A Professional Overview

Characters:
• Rough and Tumble Hero - Perhaps with moustache, perhaps hung over

• Innocent Hero - Who is going to have a very bad day

• Saviour - Someone who helps Hero become violent, and not a sissy

• Villain - Usually Mother Nature (that trollop!), or Aliens (those trollops!)

• Families (Children, Wife) - Who are useless, and need to be saved

• Government Officials - “We need to build a missile and fire it at ‘ _____’”

• FBI Agents - “The Dang Government is gonna build a missile and fire it at ‘____’”

• Police Officers - We do not know much, but we like donuts, and we hate the FBI

• Masses of Humans – “O.K., on the count of 3, let’s all run around screaming! 1...2....”

• News/Media – “I don’t know why I volunteered to report in the midst of the world ending. I suppose I really should be running around screaming, like everyone else”

Locations
• Hospitals – Bad day for Surgery

• Military Bases – Bound to be destroyed in some way or another

• Forrest, or Country – “It was nice out here, until the sodomizing aliens came”

• City, or Urban Sprawl – “It sure is hectic in this hustle-bustle city...Hey, is that a Giant Wave?”
• “The Pentagon” – Dimly lit. Old official barking at Young Radar guy. They both dislike Godzilla.
• Outer Space – “Now is not the time to determine if farts smell worse in space, Jim! Aliens are afoot!”

• The Ocean, or body of water – “Well I’ll be damned! That IS a Giant Squid, riding a surfboard, loading an AK-47!”

• Abandoned something or other – Terrible time to investigate the “Old Farm”, as it is currently the main base for the sodomizing aliens.


Objects/Things
• Guns! Guns! Guns! - Even lasers, and missiles, and whatever else can inflict pain on aliens or stop a tidal wave (although I do not know how a missile would stop a wave)

• Getaway cars – Get to the car, so you can retreat from the rapidly moving lava. Hurry the FUCK up Granny!

• Planes – The world is about to end. Better make it to that giant plane, which is headed for Mars. Will my iPhone work on Mars? Of course it will; Steve Jobs is a Dictator from hell.

• Some sort of wacky “key” or “code” – This, of course, is all that is needed to save the world.

• Radios – You have just got to radio you baby; tell her you love her, before you body is turned into vapour.

Mood
• Tends to be action packed music, with a hero shooting aliens in the face, or pulling a baby from a squids grasp.

Plots and Events
• A wonderfully sunny day, (perhaps with some numerical significance: 7/7/07!!!) perfect for having recreational outdoor park-sex with your friends and family. That is, until a laser toting Godzilla enters into a wrestling match with a giant Moth, in your back yard. Pull up your pants are run for your lives, dorks!

• Johnny-Common-Military has been slacking at this shoot-shoot practice. He is a rebel folks, He is a badass, who does not play by the rules! He definitely does not listen to his superior officer(who is a dork). However, when the Aliens come to town, it is time for him to kiss his wife on the face, and go punch a menacing creature in the dick! Huzzah!

Disaster Movies
• Independence Day
• 2012
• The Day After Tomorrow
• Twister
• Dante’s Peak
• Encino Man