Friday, August 7, 2009

The Beautiful Ones

It was a hot sunlit afternoon at the San Diego Zoo. The weather brought the visitors in droves, and The Zoo was brimming with energy and wonder. In their spacious enclosure the Hippos went about their Hippo business. Some waded casually in their mud pond, while others lazily basked in the heat. They were all dreaming about apples - and also about 'not being fucked with'.

A large crowd was beginning to gather around their pen, however unlike other days, today the crowd was not here to soak in the magnificant glory of the Hippos. No. Today, the crowd gathered for a presentation; a charitable donation was being made to benefit The Zoo, and none other than the newly crowned Miss America was here to make it - evidently she was a real animal enthusiast.

The presentation was to take place on a small bridge, which ran over top of the Hippo's pond, and as it was set to start in minutes, the bridge was rather chaotic. It was overflowing with hairdressers, makeup artists, film crews, and the like. Leaning out against the wall of the bridge, Miss America and her manager, were speaking intently.

"Sky, don't worrry! Your beautiful, your confident, and you will nail this speech. Nothing too it babe!", her manager insisted.

"Like, um, totally thanks Rico, I like, um, really appreciate your, um, support", said Sky.



As this conversation continued, the interest of one particular Hippo was piqued. Floyd The Hippo, was fairly certain that these people were here to offer him apples. He was keen on accepting the offers. Floyd started to wade slowly over to the bridge, stopping directly below where Miss America and her manager were still talking.
Floyd then began to emit a large gurgling sound from the depths of his enormous Hippo stomach, as to inform the humans that he was ready to be showered with apples....He continued to produce this noise even after a few apple-less minutes.
Above, (and at long last) Rico was unable to tune out Floyd The Hippo's guttural cries, and interupted Sky.
"S-sky, can you hold it for a second, this Hippo is driving me fucking nuts."
"Rico!", she cried in defense of the Hippo, "He's like, just a poor little Hippo, looking for food, be niiiiyce to him"
"Nice eh? Hungry eh? Well alright then, here!", with that Rico dug into his pockets and aggressively threw the contents of them on the sexy Hippo waiting below - the contents of which happened to be a small, opened bottle of cologne.
The cologne struck Floyd on the nose. The liquid ran out of the bottle, and effortlessly flowed into his large sized nostrils.

This angered Floyd, and he prepared his rebuttal.

Before Rico and Sky (and the dozens of people on the bridge for that matter) knew what was what, Floyd The Hippo had begun to shake his tail, whilst excreting his feces, effectively spraying everything in sight with Hippo Shit.
This caused a panic, in which Rico twisted his body (to block the Hippo Shit from further entering his eye sockets) in such a way that he inadvertently knocked Miss America off the bridge and into the perils of the Hippo Pond.


She was then promptly bitten in half by Floyd the Hippo, who had still yet to receive any apples.

MBW

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