Levels of Hell

Heaven? Hell? I do not know. No one knows. Who is to say what happens when we pass on? Do we go to heaven, and eat buttered English muffins, on a cloud made of happy? Or is it straight to hell, where we shovel hot bugs into the assholes of people worse than us?

Who knows - and better yet, who cares? Although if we are to assume the "bible" is "correct", and not some crazy fairytale, well then, I am off to Hell (especially since I just masturbated five minutes ago).

...I have been mulling this over recently: I am going to Hell.

Well alright then, I succumb to my fate, to hell with it.



However I have been troubled by the talk of levels. I am interested in these levels. Where did you come up with this jibba-jabba, Mr. Dante? Have you been to Hell, Mr. Dante? Do you know Satan? And if so, is He any good at table tennis?



Well these are all interesting questions, that clearly cannot be answered...Back to the level nonsense (the crux of my worries)...

The levels (perhaps) work thusly; the deeper one descends into Hell, the more objects are inserted into one's body (there is a direct co-relation). A zip lock bag full of hot mustard in the dick-hole, a hot toaster into the anus, and the like...

My word, that certainly sounds ghastly. Not something that I would like to be a part of, no matter how drunk I was, or how much food I was being offered.

However, going on the theory that no two people are alike, it stands to reason that some Hell bound freak would quite fancy a hot device in the rectum.

Therefore, my thinking is that The Levels of Hell, should differ between individuals; no two people shouold have the same levels of Hell. Sick anal fetish man's levels of Hell would not include any anal funtimes. He wants the funtimes, but this is Hell, and he sure as heck isn't going to get what he wants in Hell.



Indiana Jones? Lots of snakes, and not a whip to be found.
The Crocodile Hunter? A shallow pool full of Stingrays, while a man killing rare snakes reads him the definition of "Irony" over and over again.
Hitler? Sunshine, Lollipops, and Rainbows everywhere.
Etc...
My own personal levels of Hell are still up for internal debate. I know that the words "no" and "alcohol" will be prominent throughout, and perhaps, so will "small" "public" "washrooms".
I will indeed rehash this topic in the near future, once I have been able to assess my own misgivings, and create a reasonable outline of my own personal Hell.
Until that point, I will continue to live my meaningless life of petty sins.

MBW