The Hoki Poki

*Disclaimer: Yes, I frequently muse about Fast Food - I am simply unable to stray from this topic, as it has had such a profound impact on my life, socially, and emotionally.

---------------------------------

I have been known to say "Ah yes, the Fillet o' Fish; good choice. She is a darkhorse of the McDonald's lineup, and represents a tasty aquatic option, on their otherwise mammal-tastic menu of depression"

Alas, I could not have been more wrong. "Darkhorse", in my worldview implies that not many a'people are aware of said "Darkhorse", and that it is indeed a good choice, or option regardless of its limited appeal.

The Fillet of Fish is clearly not a "Darkhorse", it is in fact, an ocean depleting murder factory, placed on a heavily buttered babybutt-soft bun.

Peruse this electronic document: http://www.nytimes.com/2009/09/10/science/10fish.html

You see, The Fillet of Fish is in fact a marvel, a legend. It has just gone largely uncredited -until now...

Can I be more satisfied! On a Micro level, The Fillet will leave its victims feeling depressed, and full of shame, staring at their unappealing bodies, wondering why they just ate a fish sandwich alone, in a taxi, at 4am. They will try to make conversation with the taxi driver to alleviate their shame, however he will shun them, as he is not a man who converses with people who eat Fish Sandwiches at 4am.

However, even more impressive, is that on a Macro level, the Fillet of Fish is a damning hell spire up the anus of every environmentalist on earth! The Poor Hoki, tasty and innocent on the ocean floor, is violently shaken from its docile world, off the coast of Australia. It is then ripped into bits (most of which are casually discarded) and formed into a "sandwich", which is then consumed by confused/mindless drunken humans worldwide!

Oh Capitalism, you are giving me an erection!

Wiping out an entire fish species, not for any other reason than to sell woefully processed, and dreadfully unhealthy fish, to an already woefully depressed, and unhealthy public.

Sorry Hoki, but The Fillet of Fish makes me wish I could high-five Satan!

MBW