Food, fastly.

Convenience is often times my downfall. I am hungry, and I am not in my house (perhaps, it would not matter if I was indeed at home, for the food that I possess is shameful at best; a mouldy block of cheese, two cans of bargain-priced tuna, and coffee), and therefore I must satisfy my hunger via vendor.
Now, I am not a fastfood coward. I do not particularly care how these animals are murdered and ground up. Are we to assume that (succulent)Cows, (tasty)Chickens and (lip-smacking) Pigs, would be much happier about their own murders if it were done in a "humane" manor. Can I sleep easier in the evening, knowing that Wilbur is slowly being put to sleep, and then mauled apart by rapidly moving steel? No. Who cares? Ninnies, that's who. But I am not a ninnie, I am a hungry man, who is away from his homestead.
So I eat Arby's. Now, I do not know you Mr. Arby, however I would love to sit down and have a chat with you. I would demand that you give me the name of your meat supplier. I need to know how you can procure enough "high-quality" "roast beef" to feed millions of people daily, for under 4 dollars. Whats that you say? The meat is actually 40% discarded military boots? Ah, well that explains why my heart feels itchy, I am currently depressed for no reason, and in 40 minutes I will excrete Beelzebub himself, from my rectum.
Let me wash my depression down, with some "Bacon" "Cheddar" Curly Fries, and sugar water. Now, I must remand myself to my bedroom for hours, as I have suffered injury, due to your food. I am beginning to think that it would have been less detrimental to my well being, to have consumed various "foods" from a dumpster, behind a homeless shelter.

I am ill, and I am unable to escape the reality, that is the complete, and total lack of fire, or grill in your establishment. How are you preparing my roast, since fire is not present? Am I to resign myself to the fact that you are "cooking" "roast" "beef", with a machine that could charge my cellular phone?

My asshole has been penetrated by the spiked ceiling of hell.

MBW