Guinness Rational?

Recently I have developed a rampant, and insatiable taste for Guinness. It is a fine ale that can be enjoyed during a hearty meal, or simply whilst taking a bath.
This lust however has landed me in hot water, morally.
Guinness, of course costs money, and I am unable to procure its essence for the price of "free". I must pay one green Canadian Bill, and one Silver and Gold Canadian coin for 8 tins of Liquid Jesus Beard (Guinness).
This is unfortunate, since I have been unemployed for many months. This personal streak of Sloth, has left my bank account whittled, like an un-loved petunia. I cry for money, yet it evades me like an attractive woman.

"Fuck", I say. What a pickle. What a Dill.
I want Guinness - no, I need it. Thus, I purchase it on a credit card, that has no merit; a credit card that mounts heavy, and depressing monetary woes into my soul. A credit card, that I have absolutely no intentions of dealing with in a responsible manor.

Here is my pickle: Can I sleep at night? Can I lay head-to-pillow, with such heavy "Fake Money" debts? In short: Yes. You see, if I was not to procure said Guinness at the LCBO, I would crave for it to the point where I would push innocent humans towards concrete, in order to dive into my local dive, and drink sweet Guinness at an inflated rate. My initial denial of Dark Beer, will undoubtedly lead me to a shameful bar hoping state, in which I will eventually adorn a tight fitting Jean Jacket, and seek out only the dimmest parts of bars, and intimidate members of the opposite sex, with calls of "Yo, Butter Nipples", or ",Heyyyyyyy there sweetheart, wanna let me churn your baby faucet?".

This will lead to ostracism, from all but the filthiest of purveyors of Guinness. I will live a life of Fast Paced Walks Down Yonge Street; hands akimbo, swears a'prevalent. I will subsist off pure Street Vendor Sausage, and ill gotten canned meats.

Since I need Guinness, I must confine myself to "Cheap Guinness". After all, it keeps me at home, and that also happens to be where I keep my extensive pornography collection.

MBW